How to get children to help with housework, learning from indigenous people in Guatemala
When we closely study the lives of indigenous people in Guatemala, Mexico's neighboring country, we find that children tend to take the initiative in helping with household chores. Many psychologists are trying to understand why these children are so willing to help with household chores.
Families In A Maya Village In Mexico May Have The Secret To Getting Kids To Do Chores : Goats and Soda : NPR
In the early 1990s, psychologist Suzanne Gaskins lived in a small village called Maya near Valladolid on the Yucatan Peninsula. One day, she met two sisters, ages 7 and 9, in a Maya village. The conversation turned to housework, and the older sister said, 'I wash my clothes and my baby brother's clothes,' to which the younger sister replied, 'I wash my own clothes too!' The two sisters then began talking about the household chores they usually perform at home.
Gaskins noticed that not only these sisters, but many children of the indigenous Mayan tribes of Guatemala had the habit of helping out voluntarily, rather than being asked by their parents. In addition to Gaskins, several psychologists have confirmed over the past 30 years that the culture of 'children helping with household chores' is deeply rooted in the indigenous tribes of Guatemala.
This volunteering behavior by children is so common in Mexico that there is even a word for it: 'acomedido.' Andrew Copans of the University of New Hampshire explains, ''Acomedido' means taking the initiative to help out in a situation, and it's different from just giving a little help or helping because you're asked.' In fact, a 12-year-old girl named Susie, who lives in the Maya, volunteers to help her mother with household chores, including washing dishes, cooking, and doing laundry.
Copans interviewed indigenous Guatemalan immigrants in the United States about the frequency of their children's housework and compared the results with those of middle-class European-American families in Silicon Valley. The results revealed that indigenous Guatemalan immigrants in the United States, children aged 6 to 7 years old, engaged in roughly twice as much housework as European-American children.
So what's the difference between typical European-American families and indigenous families in Guatemala? 'In typical European-American families, children tend to be clumsy and break things, so they tend to refuse to participate in household chores,' says psychologist Rebecca Mejia Arauz of the Western Institute of Technology and Higher Education (ITESO).
However, in indigenous families in Guatemala, it's the exact opposite: parents do household chores in front of their children. If the children say they want to do the same thing, the parents respect their children's autonomy and allow them to do the chores, even if it means having to redo what the children did later.
For example, one mother said, 'When my son cooked, he made the mistake of spilling the water, but I still let him participate in cooking because he can learn from his mistakes.' Mejia Arauz explains that 'parents seem to see their children's mistakes as an investment in their future.'
Copans gives the example of indigenous people in Guatemala, saying, 'Providing opportunities for children to help their parents with household chores early on is likely to encourage them to participate in household chores voluntarily.' David Runcie of Utah State University offers four tips from the lifestyle of indigenous people in Guatemala to encourage children to do household chores voluntarily.
◆1: Show your children how to do housework
When doing many household chores, such as cooking and doing laundry, children should be nearby. Also, children can learn to a certain extent how to do housework by watching others do it. Therefore, by the time they say they want to try it, they have already understood most of the content, so even if they can't do everything perfectly, there is less to teach them.
◆2: Ask for 'small jobs' that will make a big contribution
Children are physically immature and may not be able to perform tasks with dexterity. Therefore, if you assign difficult tasks to children, they are likely to experience frustration through failure, which will reduce their opportunities to participate in housework. However, if you assign small chores that don't need to be done, there is the problem that they will not get a sense of accomplishment from doing housework. Therefore, you should consider assigning tasks that are easy to do but that will contribute greatly to the family.
◆3: Work together on one project
For young children, a major motivator for doing housework is 'working on a common goal with the family.' For this reason, at first, don't let your child do the work alone, but instead work together on the same thing. Then, gradually, children will learn the work and start doing the housework voluntarily.
◆4: Don't force it
Abandon the easy-going mindset of 'They helped me last time, so they'll do it this time too,' and instead, get your children to participate in household chores when they voluntarily say they want to help. Forcing children to do housework can lead to them losing interest in it. If you do ask them to do housework, it's more effective to say, 'Let's do it together,' rather than, 'Do this.'
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